My future approaches faster than I can wander out of the way!

Well, Career fairs are fun and volunteering has really opened my eyes to the fact that I want to get away from the whole research paper thing and get into a money-earning position in the Industry! I had a ton of Fun this last week with the PLANET Student Career Days competitions and all that stuff.

As part of the fair I spoke with several companies about intern positions they may have open. Although I was aiming for a highly recommended compay they seemed to snub me for the fact that I want a range of expereince in an internship instead of a short and specific one. I didn't even get an interview with the top two companies that were suggested to me, the one snubbed me and the other just didn't seem like they cared if I was interested or not. The third company that I was actually considering actually spoke to me in a three part Interview!

The first part was a grad student from BYU that worked for them and I was given an opportunity to explain a few things on my resume as well as my hopes and expectations for the internship I was seeking. By the time I had many of my questions asked and answered the owner showed up and pretty much reiterated what Kim had said to me and after speaking with me almost started to sell his company's procedure on me. Jim made me feel like I was actually someone they would like to intern with them. Beth had lost her voice talking with everyone and is the main internship coordinator that was there but she showed up at the end and I felt like they all wanted to have me seriously concider their firm for an internship. After being snubbed by two larger companies I felt very inclined to go to Northern Chicago for the summer.

Although that went quite well with the interview, I feel a slight anxiety over the whole thing: do I try to open more options to weigh against this current invitation, or do I try to figure out more detailed information about their company? Do I try to get a second chance with the Snubbing-Snobs? or do I go with the friendly ones?

As I am not really tied down in any sort of relationship at this point in my life and I NEED an internship to graduate, I don't think it is wise even now to take the attitude of just go where they seem nice and convenient at the moment. I just wish I had a bit more time in the research behind the various companies and more expereince in saying what they want to heat that would get them to want me to intern in a way that I want to Intern. (I hope that makes sense it is 2 AM right now). In any case I need to do something fast and soon so that I can plan my summer and figure out what I need to do for housing. I am starting to dread figuring out what final classes I need to take and PASS to graduate as well. That step will surely start to bring on a new stress of where can I find my nich in the industry and find an employment opportunity to become part of a Team and Firm for a more substantial permanance.

Although local would be great for family things and mormon culture, I'm not sure I really feel tied to the state at all right now, or the region. Perhaps I just need to get back to the east coast to figure out more of my life again. Perhaps the internship with Martin & Associates will give me a clue of how far I can live from home comfortably. So aside from all that I need to stop this writing and get a 6 page paper written for tomorrow... so much going on in my head its hard to really focus. Hopefully this post will have freed-up a bit of space and attention for me to get something done.

Anyhow, Pray for me if ya can and perhaps I'll get the help I need to figure out what to do exactly,
Until next time,
Wandering Shepherd

Still wandering...

It's been quite a journey I've traveled since my last post and I know that its been quite a while. I have been reflecting on a lot of things too, perhaps too many to mention here but I know that the people I do call my friends are great. I have been able to rely on them for support and love through the challenging days and I have enjoyed talking with them and sharing my triumphs as well as disappointments. I have been able to experience a lot of personal defining moments. That is just a side effect of life passing I guess.

I have begun to understand more of my own personality and I have started to realize parts of my character that need reconstruction and i have been working a bit on my outlook and personal conveyance of attitude. I may have lost a spark of cheer for a roommate of mine because when he's negative I find myself rocketing down the same road. I know it's a weakness of mine. He struggles with finiancial issues like I do and I know it's a challenge to stay happy during those hours of stress figuring where ends will meet, but I hate letting it get me down. Its hard to pull up from that spiral when it begins. Is it a bad thing to avoid roommates in general circumstances like those?

I avoid so many other issues in life that I wonder some times what I should be doing with life. Why do I not just take charge and make the world conform to my decisions? I suppose that's not the way that life works, but it would be nice if I had enough resolve to tell the world what I want and how I plan on making it a reality.

Well I feel like I have started to babble... so I'll take a break for now. I hope I run into you sometime so I can say Hi and get aquainted perhaps...
Safe wanderings to you all!