One of the simple joys of life...

There are few things in this life I treasure more than my testimony and music. My friends happen to be one of those. There are so many times that I have thought a lot about how on earth I was blessed enough to have friends that would accept me for me and the entire me... not just the socially straight part but all my quirks and my gay me. Who couldn't love friends like that? I feel liberated while I hang with the Family because they are just that; Family. I don't feel like I need to pose as some perfect little "Peter Priesthood", granted I'm no angel, I'm not a devil either. I'm Merely me... Human as they come.



I recently have had things working out for me and opportunities have begun to develop into possibilities. I am getting rid of old roommates that are jerks and others that seem to have lost their care for what happens in my life. In many ways I have started a new epic chapter in my life. I was told I was a good writer the other day, although I have my great doubts about that; I finally had to just say thanks for the compliment. I have a problem of comparing my 1 watt candle to others strengths which appear to me to be a lighthouse beacon in comparison. That isn't fair for me or them. But one of the great joys of life is that we all have something we are innately good at; some unique thing about us that makes us the one and only us.



I've been realizing the synergy that a circle of friends creates. There is a completeness that is more apparent and present when we combine talents together to make a functional group capable of tackling challenges... and able to offer greater support and understanding... I don't know where I was actually going with that train of thought.. but It's about time I head to class so this is my stop... I'm getting off now. Hopefully you who read this understand the part you play in my circle of friends. Thanks for being there for me.

Whispers of a past and a future with friends...

It never ceases to amaze me how much I have in common with how I grew up and how my friends grew up. Yet, on the other hand it still surprise me how much we've had different experiences. I've not had to "deal with" certain issues for as long as some have and I know that I still feel like I have a lot of the same challenges today. There are a lot of things I still don't fully understand about my life in general and my deepest thoughts... And still I continue to discover what I think when I talk to friends .. albeit at 4 am at times.

I see how much of my time I have passed in the last three years dealing with self-definition and exploration; and at the same time having to come to grips with reality. When I say reality it encompasses more than what is actually there in the obvious daylight. I mean the relative realities we all create in our minds.. the reality where we believe this is all some kind of joke on us and when we are not in eh room people aren't people at all, they just don't exist until they play another role in our life. In one scene and out till the next act... Like some Shakespearean play or movie. In the movies you generally follow the main character the whole time. you see what they do and how they interact with others .. Yet those others kind of don't exist except for the parts they have scripted to be shown.

A reality of how you wish or believe things to be. that is another one I have thought of.. are things just the way they are because I think they should be that way? Do my thoughts have that much control? Am I here to determine what is real to me... or is reality something we discover that is constant in spite of our ever changing places in it while the masses shift around a pivotal truth?

perhaps this isn't well thought out for an entry but it is almost 5am .. And I haven't slept yet.