Well it has been a long time since I have actually blogged and for good reason. I have been in the midst of changes and didn't have computer access for a month at least and now that I have it I spend more of my leisure time thinking.
Recently I lost a job I loved for a ridiculous scenerio not unlike Potifer's Wife and Joseph. I felt like the one being punished for her advances and that is pretty much what happened. Perhaps I should have ran 3 seconds sooner and I'd still be there.
SO amidst the new semester changes and all that, I am starting to finally get settled into my new place and then the realization of what's going on in my life hits me. After trying to get the guts up to tell my girlfriend that I just want to be friends she gives me a Two month anniversary card she hand-made and complicated things.. it was the following monday I lost my job and avoided talking to her all together for a day because I didn't think I would be able to handle it. Anyhow, she tracked me down and we talked about the incident at work and then since I was in the frustration release mode it trickled into the conversation and she even mentioned that she had started to feel the same way. That we could be friends but it wasn't really going anywhere. Now I don't know if that is what she was really thinking or if she was jsut saying that to make it easier on me in this emotionally slashed week. Overall I'm still waiting for a chance to speak with the owner and see if there isn't a possibility of a second chance there. Untill I figure out which way that is going I am still secretly losing a lot of my focus and sanity. I just couldn't belive the whole thing; it's like one of those things that seems like a bad dream becasue it just doesn't feel real.
In any case I'm still alive and losing sleep over the whole ordeal. I even lost a lot of my appetite. Still it's hard to fight the tears when I start to think of not being able to work with so many of the friends that I loved there.
well I should end this before it gets too painful to rehash. My train of thought is not even easy to read right now in this exhauseted state. I appologize for that because I know a few of my friends that read this will doubtless see the lack of good structure especially in this post. Exhaustion and fatigue of mind and spirit are what I will blame it on, as well as the emotional strain that goes with it.
Anyhow, Im still here.
2 comments:
Sorry to hear about the job. A good job with cool people is a real prize so hopefully talking to your boss will work out.
I guess the good news is you losing the job inspired you to post, allowing me to know that you were not eaten by the vicious beasts of the cyberblogging world as I feared.
I reflect the comments of the good veneno about your job, but perhaps it will be a good change. You work a lot, maybe you ought to slow down to focus more on your life. Anyhow, I'll be gone shortly and without blog access, so you must stay in touch. HOpe things start to look up.
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